Reaching the back end of Port of Entry
A Cinnabon Classic roll has 890 calories. Eight hundred and ninety calories.
Screw it. You’re on vacation.
Confisco Grille is one of the park’s two table service restaurants (the other being Mythos). Its menu is kind of your standard fare: sandwiches, pasta, salads, a fish dish, a filet, ribs. They also offer a full bar if that’s your thing. We have not eaten here before, so I can’t comment on quality.
So once you exit the Port of Entry, you’re faced with a choice: turn left and advance around the park’s central lagoon starting with Marvel Superhero Island?
Instead, let’s start off with Seuss Landing. As you can probably guess, this section of the park is dedicated to the works of Theodor Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss. Many of his major works are featured in one way or the other here.
Green eggs and ham, that quintessential tale of not judging something until you’ve tried it, is represented as an eatery that I have never seen open.
I cannot eat green eggs and ham. I cannot eat them, Sam I am. I cannot eat them if you’re closed. Perhaps this place has been foreclosed?
Maybe one day we’ll see that place open. Still probably won’t eat there, so let’s move on.
If I Ran the Zoo is a charming enough children’s play area (based, obviously, on the book of the same name).
Monkey is loose. Perhaps it was the lucky monkey from Port of Entry?
There’s a lot of interactive things here – you squirt water into the bathtub here, for example, and this character comes up out of it.
I don’t know if this is out of Dr. Seuss or The Human Centipede.
The Cat in the Hat ride is really the main thrust here. This dark ride pretty much recounts the entire storyline of the book. And, more importantly, it does it without acknowledging in any way, shape, or form the Mike Myers film that we don’t talk about.
It’s a fun ride, but be warned that the cars do spin a bit. If you’re prone to motion sickness, take a pill or something.
The ride exits out into this shop, where you can’t actually buy a cat. That would be silly.
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish is a heavily customized Zeier spinning ride (akin to Dumbo or dozens of other similar rides). The height of the ride vehicle is controlled by the rider.
The trick of this ride, however, is that you have to listen to the song that plays. If you don’t follow the instructions in the lyrics, you may end up getting sprayed. As luck has it, the one time we rode this we couldn’t hear the stupid song. Wetness followed.
We walked into Circus McGurkus right on the backend of a lunch rush. It’s unfair to judge them based on one walk-in, but…yeah, whatever. In a few pages, you’ll understand why we don’t eat at a lot of these places.
The High in the Sky Trolley was originally named “Sylvester McMonkey McBean’s Very Unusual Driving Machine,” but after five years of trying to get it open I guess they changed their mind on that. I believe the initial intention was to have single cars rolling around, but safety concerns ruined that one.
Random factoid: Universal claims that there are no 90 degree angles in Seuss Landing. Keeping with the artistic style of Dr. Seuss, everything is curved. The palm trees were supposedly already bent by a hurricane and transplanted here.