Hard Rock Park is the suckiest park that ever sucked
opinion by Steve
I've been to Hard Rock Park four times now. Each time, I've managed to somehow enjoy myself.
I'm apparently in the minority.
A cursory glance at user comments on Youtube and the Myrtle Beach Sun confirm that I, apparently, don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
In less than two years, it is predicted, the site of Hard Rock Park will become a casino for the Seminole indian tribe (I know, apparently I'm the only person who's ever heard heard of zoning laws - bear with me here). The people operating Hard Rock Park are fools who wish to do nothing but line their pockets with the earnings of the gullible fools who pony up the inflated admission prices and spend all their hard-earned cash on cheap clothing and overpriced food.
What surprises me the most is the fact that these are the locals talking.
There's a huge backlash brewing against Hard Rock Park, and I thought it'd be interesting to look at all the critical assessments being tossed around. Surely, this much negativity has to be somehow based in fact, right?
We'll start by scrolling through the lengthy pages of comments over at the Sun. Because I did not attend the Eagles concert, I'm going to disregard those comments. It's interesting that there's around a 50/50 split between people who thought the concert was great and people who thought it was a disaster. Again, I wasn't there so I can't comment on it. Here we go!
Locals want a discount and the HRP thinks
it should price itself like Disney or Universal Studios.
It is neither of course. An annual pass at Universal is only $189! There
is only 1 ride people are talking about at HRP - hardly worth the price of
admission (and parking).
Families with young children find no value because of height restrictions -
therefore the youngs ones who paid $50 to get in are shocked at how little there
is to do in the park.
Solution - add a $50 million dollar water park and attract people to a place
they can hang out at all day and have a mix of things to do.
I don't have shorties, but I do agree that not having a child's admission ticket is a little silly. They've introduced a discounted ticket for active military, so I imagine a child's ticket isn't far behind. But to compare the cost of admission to Disney or Universal indicates that someone doesn't know what they're talking about. Let's see here:
Walt Disney World (1-day (non-parkhopping)
ticket): $75
Universal Studios (1-day (non-parkhopping) ticket): $71
So a ticket to Hard Rock park is actually 20 to 25 dollars cheaper than Disney or Universal (admittedly, both Disney and Universal offer considerably cheaper tickets if you go for more than one day. If you want to break down those prices versus the cost of a Hard Rock Park annual pass, you'll still end up with Hard Rock Park being cheaper). Let's go a step further and look at some other options:
Dollywood (1 day ticket): $50
Carowinds (1 day ticket): $46
So it looks to me like Hard Rock Park is gearing their prices to be in line with regional parks, not the majors. The annual pass does cost more than the two above parks, but when you factor in the free concerts, Hard Rock's annual pass makes perfect sense. Of course, if you don't have any interest in the concerts, your results are going to vary.
here's another typical issue.. there is no 'evening pass' available.. they have all these local and mid-level concerts, and expect people to pay the full 50 bucks to come in after dinner..
Evening tickets aren't as common as you think. The only major theme park that does it is Epcot, and that's for Florida residents only. I agree with the original poster's sentiment, but I have no doubt this is another local who won't pony up the $150 for an annual pass. The whole point here was that the concerts were included in your admission ticket...
HRP are you listening? I don't ride rides! Can't you GimmeABreak and implement pricing for those of us who just want to come in and roam?(I promise I'll spend money on beer......) Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee.
What kind of twisted honor code are we going to have to implement to make sure that you don't ride a ride? Does everyone else in the park have to have a wristband so you can pay less? Karen doesn't ride roller coasters, and I didn't ask for a price break at Cedar Point...
Another poster echoes this sentiment:
I do think they should implement some system to allow people to pay a smaller fee to see the band, maybe a separate standing room only fenced off from the park. Or some time of wristband where if you don't have a wristband, you aren't allowed on any rides or in any stores except for a few.
Oh, I guess they do need to give EVERYONE ELSE in the park a wristband for your convenience. Again, the whole point here was that the concerts were included in your admission ticket.
We watched two shows and were denied
admission to a few because we were a few minutes late. Once the gates are closed
- they are apparantly closed!
Kudos to Hard Rock Park for being professional with their shows. I
just wish the movie theatres would do this too. The park map clearly
recommends showing up early for the shows. Show up early next time.
Your late arrival disturbs everyone who arrived on time, as well as the
performers.
You can only smoke in a few designated areas, but yet I saw alot of people smoking in all the other areas.
Like every other theme park on the planet, people are rude. Karen has witnessed employees pointing smokers to the designated areas on two separate occasions. Granted, not every employee of the park wants to be confrontational so you may see a few folks turn a blind eye. That's not indicative of the entire staff. Give it time and let the new folks find their legs.
Meanwhile, my 5 year old daughter gets frisked at the front gate with the stupid metal detector cattle prod. They even questioned what my son's Listerine Breath Spray was.
I hate that we live in a world where theme parks have to have bag checks and metal detectors, but the simple fact of the matter is that that's the world we're in. And tell your son the breath spray isn't helping.
I was insulted by all the shops. They aren't forcing me to buy anything - but it's sure a nagging environment with all the souvenir crap all over the place. YUCK!!!!!!!
I didn't think this person was serious, so it's a good thing they opted to use all those exclamation points to drive their point home. Funny thing about all those shops...there's exactly ONE shop in each "rock environ." Each shop carries merchandise that is unique to the area they're in (the shop in Rock and Roll Heaven, for example, carries primarily Led Zeppelin and Bob Marley merchandise - a direct tie-in to the coaster and the Reggae River Falls. British Invasion has UK band merchandise, Cool Country has country/southern rock, etc.). Compare this to Islands of Adventure, where each "island" has 3 to 4 separate stores. I'll take the "1 per land" version, kthanks.
That Garage Jam foam ball play area needs serious supervision...future law suits.
See, this is why South Carolina can't have nice things. I can name 10 parks with the same attraction that doesn't have any problems like this. But apparently we're too rowdy here to be able to handle getting shot by a foam ball. Oh, and I've seen at least two employees in there every time I've walked in. How many people do we need to monitor fun?
Well, these were all interesting. Let's move over to Youtube and catch a comment or two from our Hard Rock Park - Attractions video.
its a very boring park. I went there and they have 2 rollercoasters and half of the stuff doesnt even work yet. Two thumbs down for 50 bucks.
Of course, this comment must have been from during the sound check. Things weren't supposed to work 100 percent yet, stupid. That's the whole point of doing sound check/soft openings/technical rehearsals. Hell, Toy Story Mania at Disney Hollywood Studios went down the other night - is it considered a failure now too?
But this comment is especially indicative of how negative commenters will go the extra mile and brazenly make stuff up. There were only two rollercoasters? Slippery When Wet has been open for a few weeks, which raises the count to 4 (Maximum RPM will get their count to 5). The park opened with 3 coasters open. At no point was there only 2 coasters...
When your real argument doesn't hold, try hyperbole.
How many coasters are pictured above? Here's a hint: not
two
They had a choice between Disney,Six Flags,Hard Rock.The local council of numbnuts didn't want to give the other two a tax break on the building of the park even though it would mean millions of revenue coming into the local governments after the park was built.The place is a ghost town. Bottom line...when Disney says,"we are interested in building a theme park in your town",your response should be..."ok, how can we help you make that happen".Just another failure by the people who run this town.
Six Flags hasn't built a new park in over 30 years. The company is trying to get itself out of a $2 billion hole. At what point were they considering coming to Myrtle Beach? Oh, it was two years after never.
Then there's Disney. For some reason I'll never understand, residents of South Carolina love to start rumors about Disney buying up property in their state. The most recent rumor involved some land in the Orangeburg area, right around where I-26 and I-95 intersect. No one has ever come up with an explanation for why Disney would want to build a park here. That's because there isn't an explanation. It's not happening. I guess folks at Myrtle Beach have their own rumors of the Mouse coming in and making Myrtle Beach the mostest magicalist place on Earth. What this person may ne thinking about is back before Disney built their Hilton Head resort. The North Myrtle Beach area was considered, but they didn't roll that way. In any case, there's a world of difference between a theme park and a hotel...
I can't help but wonder how many of these nay-sayers have even set foot in the park? Is this a case like the Myrtle Beach Pavilion, where people say it's nasty and filthy and overrun by crime when in actuality it was a quaint, fun park. What's the agenda here, people?
look at all the excitement available at the former Myrtle
Beach Pavilion location!
Look, if you read the TPS Report for Hard Rock, you saw where I had some complaints. I've actually rethought my position. The food seems like a lot, but it's really right in line with the rest of the industry. Alcohol seems more expensive, but I generally only drink at park events (Epcot Food and Wine, Halloween Horror Nights) so I don't necessarily have the best reference point there.
I repeat what I said initially. This is a solid base. The park has to have time to organically grow. They know what their weak spots are, and they'll get to them in due time. Talk to people who went to Universal Studios Florida in 1990 - parks don't always hit the ground running. Christ, Islands of Adventure took seven years to open a ride that was constructed in 1999!
If you want to complain about the park, that's your prerogative. But try to make real criticism. The rantings of the locals sounds a hell of a lot like the rantings of Disneyland annual passholders (you know, the ones who believe they're entitled to something).
Just don't disturb me while I'm actually enjoying the park.
Steve welcomes comments from readers who can spell. He can be reached at steve@themeparksushi.com